I'M HALF DEAD AND IN LOVE WITH A PSYCHO! HA!
by SakuChan5
Summary: Sakura is starting her senior year and already she has a STALKER..er..stalking her. A hot amber orbed stalkee..hmm She has the perfect friends Tomoyo, Ryuu, Kenzo, and Eriol. Everything seems fine until her stalkee sort of kills her...and romance sparks!
1. Am I dead? yet?

**Disclaimer: This fic is mine. The characters belong to clamp. Moving on with our lives....XD...**

**Chapter 1 - by L.A **

**aka Sakuchan5**

Sakura Kinomoto walked briskly as she made her way to school on a crisp autumn morning. The cool wind caressed her silky auburn locks and the sun glinted off of the sakura necklace set against her milky porcelain skin. She wore her everyday school uniform with blue and white thigh high knee socks and a pair of miu miu flats painted in sakura blossoms.

Sakura broke into a run as she neared the corner market across Tomoeda High.

To anyone else this would seem a daily norm. Afterall Sakura was ALWAYS late.

Which is why no one seemed to notice the paranoia that crept over her features when she left home.....or the instant relief she felt upon entering her classroom, even though she had been late every day that week.

You'd think the loud exclamations of "IM ALIVE!! OMFG IM ALIVEEEEEEEEEE!! HAHAHAHA!!" and the whole kissing-the-classroom-floor-thing would make it clear to her classmates that **_something _**was different.

BUT then again that may just be because Sakura is also the biggest KLUTZ in all of JAPAN!! (And no that is not an exaggeration! She actually participated in the Biggest klutz in Japan finals and won first prize.)

No all she got was a "SENSEI!! Sakura's making out with the floor again!!".

Which is why no one noticed the boy following her to school this morning.

The same boy that had been following..scratch that practically STALKING..her for the past week.

Why you may ask?

Well let's ponder that for a moment:

Possible reasons for a HOT stalker to er.._stalk_ Sakura..

1. **_He_** is an axe murderer who preys on emerald eyed female hotties. (That skull and axe carrying chain draped around his neck had to mean something right?)

2. **_He_** is madly in love with her.

3. **_He_** is hot. **_She_** is hot. Hotties stick _**together**_. (Refer back to option 2).

4. **_He_** is from the future and needs her help to save the world from destruction and then wants to join her in wedlock and have her bear his children. (Heck..a girl could dream right?)

5. _**He**_ is the same hottie Sakura's cousin Tomoyo Chan stole that AWESOME labtop from last week at the mall. (She's been doing her christmas shopping a little too early..*sigh*)

6. _**He**_ is a psychotic serial killer (also refer to option 1).

**Knock Knock**

ahhh..reality comes knocking..

As Sakura reached the school gates she snuk a glance the way she'd come.

She let out a sigh of relief when she realized that the shaggy, chestnut haired, amber orbed teen was no where in sight.

This being her one source of comfort since the boy seemed to only stalk her to school in the morning and then home after school.

Of course she hadn't let on that she'd seen him doing so this past week since school started.

SENIOR YEAR had not even officially begun and already she had a **_stalkee_**!!

After her daily OMFG-IM-ALIVE-HA-HA-HA and making out with the floor ritual Sakura slid into her seat beside Tomoyo Chan.

Her other friends Eriol, Ryuu, and Kenzo sat across from her in a trapazoid like seating formation. (OH YA we're ADVANCED: _Trapazoid_..Look It Up..!!)

Mid-way through class the teacher gave them a random assignment to work on and then sprinted to the bathroom.

Another daily routine..except everyone knew that sensei actually ran off to make out with his gay boyfriend. (Advanced...see?)

"SAKURA!!" screeched Ryuu, Kenzo, and Eriol as soon as the sensei left. Tomoyo giggled.

"Where's my bentoooooo??" purred Kenzo Kun.

Sakura giggled and handed everyone a homemade bento.

Although they were all rich Sakura's dad was the richest man in Japan. So having your own personal chef had it's perks.

You're probably going: If her dad's the richest dude in all of Japan how does she not have bodyguards to deal with her stalker?

1 word my friends.............SUICIDE.

If her dad were to find out Sakura had a stalker he'd lock her up in their mansion and home school her.

Ever since her brother Touya died in a motorcycle accident he'd been super paranoid. Yes the richest man in Japan is a loony bin that gave birth to the biggest klutz in Japan...is it really _that_ surprising?

"OMG!! Sakura you rock!! You got my** _favorite_**!! SUSHI AND CHOCOLATE!!" Kenzo blurted around a mouth full of food.

" Dude I will never know how you eat that stuff..." Eriol exclaimed grimacing at Kenzo.

"What?" he replied looking honestly confused.

"It's not his fault Sakura doesn't give him the time of day." Ryuu mused.

"What does Kenzo Kun's undying love for Sakura have to do with sushi and chocolate?" asked Tomoyo Chan perplexed.

"GUYS!! I am not in LOVE with Sakura!" Kenzo stated punching his twin brother Ryuu in the arm. (You could tell one from the other because Kenzo had red shaggy hair and Ryuu had Auburn shaggy hair).

"Oh man you are so so STRONG Kenzo kun! All that time you spend at the gym is finally paying off!" remarked Ryuu Kun in a girly voice, sarcasm etched in his tone.

"Since when does Kenzo Kun go the gym?" asked Eriol laughing.

"Since he hid in the girl's locker room and over heard Sakura saying she liked guys with a six pack haha.." They high fived each other while Kenzo shrunk back in his seat.

"YOU hid in the girl's locker room??" Sakura asked surprised.

Afterall Kenzo was suppose to be the decent one. Eriol and Ryuu fell into the pervert category.

Kenzo turned a nice shade of red "I...I...ugh...well.."

"Cut him some slack Sakura the kid's in LUUUUUUUUUUUUV" Tomoyo purred her eyes sparkling with mischief. She nudged Kenzo Kun suggestively.

"Stop it" he muttered trying to look anywhere but at Sakura..

"Oh my gosh! You are soo cute when you're embaressed....Tomoyo chan look at those dimples!" Sakura crooned reaching out to poke his dimples.

Kenzo turned beet red, muttered something about making a phone call and practically fled the room. He was also the shyest one. Go Figure.

One of the groups's favorite pass times: Teasing Kenzo kun about his infatuation with Sakura.

ahh zeee joys of young adulthood....

After School

Ryuu, Kenzo, Eriol, and Tomoyo stood gathered aorund the front school gates.

"So we're going over to your house to work on that history project right Sakura?" asked Tomoyo Chan.

"Ya...definitely" said Sakura glancing at her surroundings nervously.

Sure enough he was there. Not in hearing range as usual but this time she noticed he wore a black cloak.

'WTF? How does he not stand out in that outfit??' thought Sakura vexed.

'Halloween's been moved to _**October the 31st**_....clearly this kid missed the memo.'

"Let's get going.." Sakura said as she led everyone out the school gates, eager to lose her stalkee.

That's when it started raining...._**HARD**_.

Tomoyo jumped onto Eriol's back demanding a piggy back ride.

Which he consented to by way of spinning her round and round yelling "tornado ATTACK". (He has a thing for Tomoyo. Go Figure.)

Sakura followed suit by jumping onto Kenzo kun, ................................................................................................................................who fell over face first.

"Oh shoot! Sorry Kenzo Kun~!!" Sakura apologized frantic as everyone else laughed.

That's when Ryuu picked her up and swung her across his back following Eriol.

She yelped at first, caught by surprise but then giggled and shrieked "FORWARD MARCH!!"...

Eriol and Ryuu raced to her mansion while Kenzo followed suit.

Inside zeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee MANSION!!

Once inside the five took showers, changed and gathered in 1 of Sakura's 25 kitchens to eat some grub. (The mansion has exactly 100 rooms...XD..)

"I have this craving for chocolateeeeeeeeeeee.." Sakura mused handing Ryuu Kun a jar of penut butter.

Eriol lounged on a sofa with his head in Tomoyo's lap, who was feeding him grapes.

"Is it that time of month?" asked Eriol ponitedly.

"No" said Kenzo Kun walking into the kitchen, hair still wet from the shower "Sakura gets her periods every 25 days...so tomorrow".

He grabbed himself an apple and shook out his hair, only to turn around and find everyone staring at him.

"What?" he said puzzled.

"How the hell do you know when Sakura pms-es every month??" asked Ryuu a grin spreading across his features.

ahh......the pervert trademark...

Kenzo seemed to realize his mistake becuase a blush crept it's way up his neck. "ugh....I....I'm ugh..psychic?" he tried.

That's when everyone jumped him.

And the PILLOW WAR was on!!

Which soon evolved into a tickle war the guys ganging up on the girls.

(Why are there pillows in a kitchen you ask? Because the author put them there 8P...muwhahaha..ahem...)

Needless to say, everyone ended up sleeping over because they stayed up all night doing their project.

**_MORNING!!_**

Sakura along with everyone else missed first period because they slept in.

When they got to school Sakura realized that she had not seen her stalker all morning.

'Is that a good thing or a bad thing?' she wondered, but her thoughts were interrupted when the fire alarm went off.

Everyone ran for the door and Sakura lost the others in the sea of students around her.

Once outside someone grabbed her around the waist.

"Ryuu Kun!" Sakura shouted turning around to glomp him.

"I love you too." he said laughing.

That's when the others found them.

Students sat around on the grass chattering as two fire trucks pulled up.

"I'm hungryyyyyyyy" moaned Kenzo kun distracted as usual.

"DUDE!! You're always hungry..." Eriol said playing with Tomoyo Chan's hair.

"Oh I've got some jelly beans on me.." Sakura said passing them around.

"Sweeeeeeet...oh man these are HUGE jelly beans!!" Kenzo declared. He threw one at Ryuu kun's head.

"Mutant jelly beans is more like it haha..." he said before catching it in his mouth.

**That's when it happened.**

One second it was a sea of students... and the next **_he_** was there.

The jelly bean in Sakura's mouth forgotten she stood up and made her way over to him.

He had never been this close before...

He stood 2 metres away under a sakura tree cast in shadow.

His head bent so she could only see his mouth, the black cloak swaying in the breeze.

She heard faint calls from behind her, asking her where she was going but she ignored them.

She wanted to know what this was all about.

She wanted answers.

She wanted answers..NOW.

Afterall he couldn't hurt her with so many witnesses around right?

She stood before him now...waiting for him to look up.

It was over then....all it took was a mere 5 seconds.

His eyes met hers, but they weren't the distant amber she had known so well, dead empty pools of black stared back at her.

CHOKE

She remembered a pain in her thoart....

A momentary flash of pity in his dark orbs...

Her legs going limp....

and then a sudden feeling of nothingness...

It was over.....

Sakura Kinomoto was

....._**dead**._

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_OR IS SHE??_

_tune in next time to find out what the hell is going on~!! yay!!_

_This fic has just begun........now things get rollinggggggggggggg~!! muwhahahah!!..._

_r&r pleeeeeeeeeeeeeaseeeeeeee!! _

I know this story seems really random...but it's not...keep reading and review to find out

1. Why Syaoran is stalking Sakura...

2. What the hell just happened........

3. And other er...stuff!!


	2. The sadist and sibling reunion XD

**Disclaimer: This fic is mine. The characters belong to clamp. Moving on with our lives....XD...**

**Chapter 1 - by L.A **

**aka Sakuchan5**

"How long is she going to sleep?" whined someone.

"You never know with the recently departed. It could take anywhere between an hour and a month. Depends on how traumatic the death is."

Sakura's eyelids twitched. She could hear voices but was finding it hard to open her eyes. **'I can't get up. Wow I'm so tired. And this bed is soo SOFT. Maybe I WONT get up. Ah sleep seems so comforting right now. Hehe'**

"Ahhhh BUT I'm HUNGRY!! And we have to take care of another gaki tomorrow. I hate being your sidekick. Why can't I go back to heaven?" complained whiny-voice.

**'Heaven? What a weird question…'**

" Can it Kero! I've got work to do and besides this is punishment for eating Adam and Eve's flowers. You've got another 100 years before the big guy will even CONSIDER letting you back into doggy heaven."

"IM NOT A DOG!! I'm a DRAGON!!" whiny voice yelled.

**'Ahhhh too loud. Can't sleep. Need SLEEP. Shut UP weird people!'**

"Well you look like a stuffed animal to me so I'm sorry to say I don't find a resemblance. Remind me to get you the dictionary of humane creatures for Christmas."

"ha ha... wise guy, just because I'm in the body of a stuffed animal doesn't mean I can't kick your ass. Remind me to do that when I get my true form back."

"You mean IF you get your true form back....mutt."

"That's IT YOU ARE SO DEAD!!

Sakura heard the scrape of a chair as if it had toppled over and the shattering of glass.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Sakura Kinomoto shot up from her slumber SCREAMING only to find that she wasn't the ONLY one screaming. Cold sweat beaded her forehead and she gave an involuntary shudder when she turned to find her stalker hollering, across the room.

In fact upon closer inspection she found a stuffed animal gnawing at her stalker's eyes as he futilely tried to deflect its blows.

Sakura's eyes widened and she heard a shrill shriek.

It was her own.

The stalker and the flying stuffed animal froze mid fight and looked over at her.

**'Shit. You've attracted their attention. NICE going Sakura.'** She scolded herself internally.

As she flung her feet over the bed getting ready to run she sneaked a glance back at her stalker only to see him streaking towards her, a pleading look in his eyes, as if begging her not to leave.

"EEEeeeekk" Sakura squealed as she jumped off the bed only to find no footing.** 'WTF...'**

That's when she looked down and realized she was falling through thin air.

"IM going TO DIE!! I'm GOING TO DIE!! IM GOING TO DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! WAHHHHHH!!" Sakura wailed and clenched her eyes shut as the air rushed past her and she skyrocketed towards the ground below.

Suddenly she was swept up into the air by a strong pair of cloaked arms. She opened her eyes to find her gothic stalker carrying her up towards a palace in the middle of a large expanse of sky; she had undoubtedly just jumped off the edge of. She snuggled into him and held on for dear life. **'This is a dream. This is a dream. This is a dream'** she repeated to herself like a mantra.

"You can let go now" her stalker chuckled as he loosened her hold around his neck. Sakura looked up to find his face just inches from hers. She yelped and jumped away from him a slight blush coloring her cheeks.

"GEEZ" he sighed, "Women are such high maintenance".

Sakura felt her blush deepen, but this time from anger. "What the hell is going on? Where am I?"

The yellow stuffed animal flew up to her and extended a hand. "keroberous is the name. Ex-guardian of the gates of heaven, now this kid's sidekick. But you can call me Kero for short."

Sakura inched away from him remembering his outrageous display of violence earlier.

"He won't bite Saku-tan. Chillax your safe now." said her stalker.

Kero laughed. "By the way this is Syaoran" he pointed to Mr. Hottie.

"I asked you what's going on." Sakura spit through clenched teeth. The horrifyingly embarrassing name he'd just called her only made her angrier. She didn't want anyone calling her that EVER again. Least of all this stranger. "Why have you been stalking me??"

"All in good time my lady." He gave her a little bow, "But first I'm sure you're hungry. How about some grub to fill that grumbling tummy of yours."

As if on cue Sakura's stomach grumbled. She blushed crimson.

"MAN it's been grumbling for the past 3 hours, only made ME HUNGRIER" muttered Kero under his breath. "I'll be right back, this babe magnet has got to grab his leather jacket." He boasted before flying into another room.

Sakura gawked after him, her mouth open.

"Okay I feel sorry for you and we don't want you having a panic attack or something so I'll fill you in. Or at least we don't want you dying twice because that would involve a lot of paperwork. Especially for me…" he trailed off muttering to himself darkly about Kero's negligence.

A look of horror crossed Sakura's face, "What do you MEAN twice? Who says I'm dead!? This is about you! You've clearly KIDNAPPED me!"

"I do. I'm the ghost of death. It's my job to collect the souls of those that are about to drop dead. There are actually a lot of us. I take care of Japan."

"OH. MY. GOD." Sakura gasped sudden comprehension dawning over her features.

"Look I know it's a lot to take in but it's true, in fact…" he didn't get to finish his rant because Sakura threw a vase at him.

"HEY..watch it!...OW" She threw another, it nearly missed his head.

"I KNEW YOU WERE A PSYCHOTIC SERIAL KILLER!!" she shrieked, "CHICKENS!!" she cussed as she picked up a coffee table and swung it at him. (Saku is super strong when she's pissed. Don't mess with her people..XD).

"I've got to get out of hereeeeeeee" she tittered as she ran around the room looking for an escape route and away from her stalker…er Syaoran as he chased her down, BLOOD on his mind.

'**OH GOSH he's gonna KILL ME… _AGAIN_ WAHH'** Sakura thought as she jumped over the bed, only he caught her arm and pulled her back. Straddling her across her waist he pinned her arms down and bent down until he was level with her ear.

"Shut up and listen. You're not getting up until I'm done speaking" His hot breath tickled her ear and raised goose bumps across her arms. She was blushing scarlet. She could feel it. She nodded silently, not trusting her own voice and deathly scared that if she put up a fight this psychotic killer would do her in.

"Like I said I collect souls and send them off to heaven or hell. You died after you umm choked on a jelly bean."

Sakura sucked in a breath.

"A JELLY BEAN!?" she exclaimed incredulous.

But now that she thought about it, it made sense. She remembered the searing pain in her throat and one of the twins yelling "You mean MUTANT jelly beans ha ha"…and that's when the reality of it hit her. The beautiful palace in the middle of the sky, the cloaked stalker that no one else could see, the pain, and the inevitable realization that _**SHE **_Sakura Kinomoto was indeed _**DEAD.**_

**_"_**But but but..." Sakura stuttered as angry tears welled up in her eyes, "I can't be dead. This was my senior year. What about my friends? What about my Dad? IM TOO YOUNG TO DIE!!" she shook under Syaoran's weight.

"Well some people get hit by a bus, some die of cancer, and others umm" he tried to hold in laughter "..choke on pfft a jelly bean pfft".

"You think this is funny??" sakura bit out. "Get OFF OF ME!" she hollered but he only sat there staring at her as if he had just found a new toy to play with.

"I haven't even had my first kiss!! HOW can I be dead? This isn't FAIR!" she tried unsuccessfully to push him off of her.

"Well we can definitely fix _**THAT**_ right now" he smirked as he bent down as if to kiss her, but instead bit her on the tip of her ear.

Sakura yelped, beet red and flipped Syaoran over with all of her might. She had intended merely to push him off of her but now she sat straddling him, fuming.

"WHAT are you DOING?" came a surprised voice from above them.

They looked up to see Kero dressed like a biker all in leather hovering over them.

Syaoran pushed Sakura off of him.

"This ones a PERVERT." He stated matter-of-factly. "She tried to take advantage of me as soon as she realized she really was dead. Apparently she's never been kissed. You know how it is Kero, supressed sexual tension in teenagers and all...." he trailed off.

"You LIAR. You're the pervert!!" Sakura yelled at him growing redder if that was even possible.

"Can't blame her though can you? Im irresistable after all..." he looked over at a fuming Sakura and smirked winking at her before leaving the room to grab his jacket.

"Never can tell with the cute ones eh?" Kero muttered to himself edging away from Sakura.

"ARAAAGHHHHARRHHHH CHICKENS!!" Sakura shrieked in frustration.

She didn't know what was worse, her being dead or being hit on and being made out to be a pervert. One thing was for sure though. SHE was DEAD. OH so DEAD.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Syaoran walked back out and handed both Sakura and Kero unopened pop cans.

"Okay go ahead and take a sip, then say Moonlight Inn".

Within seconds they were transported outside a creepy mansion just like the ones you see in cheesy horror flicks.

"WOW talk about original. Is this where the ghost of death tortures poor souls?" Sakura asked pointedly.

"Well you'll have to come in to find out won't you?" Syaoran gave her a sadistic smirk, that raised goose bumps on her arms and reminded her of earlier. He turned away satisfied and and strode up the path.

Sakura took one look at the woods around the enormous front gate and then rushed in after him. She hated the dark.

Once inside she was surprised to find a huge dancefloor full of people of all ages. A shimmering disco ball hung in the middle of the dance floor casting all shades of light across the grinding bodies.

When she looked ahead Syaoran was seated at a bar talking to a woman who looked like a model. Then he kissed her and waved at another woman practically racing across the dance floor to reach him.

**'Huh.' **Sakura thought bitterly,** 'So he's a playboy AND a pervert. GREAT.' **Syaoran looked up suddenly as if having heard her thoughts. He smirked and motioned for her to come over.

"Order some food. Eat. And then we'll talk about where you're headed and how you're gonna get there." he said passing her a menu.

"Look I can't just die. There has to be some way I can go back. Im too young to die!" Sakura blubbered anxiously wringing her hands. Syaoran didn't reply.

Sakura glared at him before ordering a burger and coke with large fries. She felt like she could devour a whole cow. THAT'S how hungry she was.

"Shouldn't you be eating a salad or something Saku-tan? I mean it wouldn't kill to get rid of some of that body fat right? Unless you're trying to up your size, then I guess I can't blame you." he smirked at her, his eyes twinkling.

"I'll eat whatever I want thank you," Sakura replied through clenched teeth "and what do you mean up your size?"

"Hey I was just wondering if you were trying to upsize to a b-cup. I mean that a-cup couldn't have gotten the attention of too many guys when you were alive right?".

Sakura punched him in the arm **"How"** PUNCH **"Do"** PUNCH **"YOU KNOW"** PUNCH **"MY BRA SIZE!?"** PUNCH.

"Hey I do my research. Give me some credit here," He laughed before grabbing her hand and pulling her towards him. "You're cute when you're embarrassed you know." he whispered huskily leaning into her. His chestnut locks tickled her forehead. "What would you be willing to do to be alive again?"

There was a double edge to his question. Like he was challenging her. "Anything" she replied breathlessly.

He leaned down, his lips inches from hers but not giving in. Almost teasing her to come to _**HIM.**_

Anger bubbled inside her. But before she could so much as break away from the hypnotic trance of his gaze she heard an earth shattering crash of china....

... and a _**VERY VERY**_ familiar voice yell **"OI GAKI!"**

**SHIT.**

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**DUN DUN DUN TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR ANOTHER EPISODE OF **

**I'M HALF DEAD AND IN LOVE WITH A PSYCHO! HA!**

**r and r guysssssssssss... I wanna know if you liked this chappie. And if you did tell me if it was entertaining and I'll write another one. It's all planned out. Should be a good fic. But im not sure if this chappie was entertaining enough so let me know k? **

**BYE L.A.**


	3. Mr Stalker, Kiki the cry baby, & vampie

**Disclaimer: This fic is mine. The characters belong to clamp. Moving on with our lives....XD...**

**Chapter 3 - by L.A **

**aka Sakuchan5**

**ps: I realize chap 2 says chap 1...lol Sorry about that ^^**

**This update is for those of you that bothered to review and ask for another chappie^^ Thanks and I hope you enjoy this..!!  
**

**Recap of end of chap 2**

He leaned down, his lips inches from hers but not giving in. Almost teasing her to come to _**HIM.**_

Anger bubbled inside her. But before she could so much as break away from the hypnotic trance of his gaze she heard an earth shattering crash of china....

... and a _**VERY VERY**_ familiar voice yell **"OI GAKI!"**

**SHIT.**

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------^.^----------------------------------------------------------------------**

Sakura gasped and jumped away from Syaoran as if she'd been electrocuted.

Racing towards her was a young man she never thought she'd see again. After all he'd died in a horrid motorcycle accident just 2 years earlier.

His chocolaty brown locks glistened with sweat and his face was flushed, whether from anger or exertion she didn't know. And frankly she didn't care.

He wore black dress pants to match with a dark tuxedo. His white collared dress shirt hung open, catching the appreciative eyes of more than a few woman in the near vicinity, as he stormed past.

**Touya.**

"What do you think you're doing TO MY SISTER!?" he hollered at Syaoran, prompting some catcalls and jeering from the crowd forming around them.

Sakura tried to smile through her tears. **THAT** was a phrase she thought she'd never hear again. It had most often been directed at Kenzo, Eriol, or Ryuu kun.

In an instant Touya was in front of them raising his fist to knock the "**GAKI!**" out.

Before Syoaran could so much as blink though Sakura had stepped up in front of him and enveloped Touya in the tightest hug possible, burying her face in his chest.

Touya stiffened for a second, surprised, but then softened, bringing his fist down to muss Sakura's hair in that familiar soothing way he had.

"Hey Kajuu" he whispered low in her ear, earning himself something between a whimper and a grunt of annoyance.

Touya laughed.

The crowd, realizing no blood shed would follow quickly dispersed muttering it's distaste with the turn of events.

Syaoran stood there for a minute longer, an inscrutable expression on his face, before deciding he'd give the siblings some privacy and disappearing around the bar.

After what seemed like an eternity Sakura stepped back from Touya, appraising him with her eyes, taking in every detail as if she expected him to disappear any second.

"You look different.", she finally quipped smiling up at him.

"Well you don't stop aging after death unless you move on." He grinned down at her.

DEATH. That seemed to be the trigger word because Touya finally seemed to realize the weight of her presence.

"You died." he said, his face falling. There was no room for doubt in his voice.

"Ya. Umm I did." Sakura grinned, trying to laugh it off.

"Is Dad here too?" Touya asked suddenly, looking around as if expecting their Dad to pop up from behind the bar man.

"Ughh no. Just me heh heh." Sakura stood up, grabbed a glass of water from a waiter zooming by, and began to chug it down.

Anything to keep her hands busy.

Talking to her dead brother in a haunted mansion/Rave club for the dearly departed did not fit her definition of normal. Not only was this whole experience extremely creepy and surreal, it was turning her into a nervous wreck. She hadn't cried like that in AGES.

In fact a voice in the back of her head still insisted this was all just a bad dream--well except for meeting Touya--and that she would wake up any minute now in her bed, at home and be _VERY VERY UN-DEAD_.

Touya seemed to digest what she'd said for a second before asking the obvious.

"HOW?"

Sakura choked and spit out her water. Haha...how ironic.

Then she tripped sending the rest of her water flying all over the bar man.

"KLUTZzz!!" shrilled a group of rowdy guys as they ran past grinning at her. One of them---a blond hottie-- winked at her before sauntering past.

Touya doubled over laughing. "And the title of KLUTZ lives on~!!" he roared watching her try and make peace with the barman who glared at her, muttering in Spanish.

Sakura backed away from the barman long enough to smack Touya across the head. He only laughed harder. By the time he caught his breath they were seated in a booth overlooking the dance floor below.

Sakura watched as Syaoran danced with a pretty brunette with silver horns sticking out of her head. She snorted, shaking her head in disbelief. She turned back to Touya in time to hear him say "...going to tell me or what?"

"IF you MUST know..." Sakura stopped dramatically before rushing out "Ichokedonajellybean".

SILENCE

"Could you repeat that. I must of misheard because I thought you just told me YOU DIED AFTER YOU CHOKED ON A JELLY BEAN!?" Touya rasped out, his voice growing louder to mirror his disbelief.

"CHICKENS TOUYA! It wasn't my FAULT!! If I'd survived I would have SUED the company that sold me those _mutant_ jelly beans!!" Sakura bit out, glaring at Touya.

'**How can he even think of BLAMING ME? I mean HELLO I'm dead D.E.A.D.**** DEAD**** Must I spell it out for HIM?**!' Sakura thought bitterly.

That's when she noticed the guys staring at her from the surrounding tables. She gave them a peevish smile, before turning back to Touya and lowering her voice.

"Tou-"

"Okay listen. I think I know how to fix this." Touya bristled cutting her off. "After I came here I found out something I think you should know."

"Go on..." Sakura prompted.

"You're the reincarnation of JOAN OF ARC!!" he grinned slouching back.

"Joan of WHO?" she looked at him like he was crazy, that SO wasn't what she was expecting.

"Man Sakura, pay attention in history much? She's only the greatest warrior princess ever." he leveled her with a stare that clearly said he found it unbelievable himself.

"Here's a history News flash for _YOU_ Touya, I'M DEAD!!" she said standing up exasperated.

He pulled her into a corner where the party-ers wouldn't hear them, whispering in low urgent whispers.

"I'm running out of time Kajuu." he easily sidestepped a kick she aimed his way, trying to suppress the grin working it's way across his lips.

As much as it bothered him that Sakura had died, he had to admit that he'd missed his younger sister. Catching the occasional glimpse of his family through his boss's looking glass just wasn't the same.

"Listen. After you die you get a choice. You either agree to move on--no one tells you whether you're going to heaven or hell though, that's for you to find out when you walk through the door-- OR you stay back and take on a task in limbo AKA the middle of nowhere.I stayed back which is WHY I've aged. I think I can get you your life back but you have to promise me you won't move on. NO matter_ WHAT_ that Gaki tells you. You have to strike up a deal with him. Tell him you want a job, anything. I'll find you again soon OK? Just wait for me." he leaned down to give her a quick peck on the forehead.

That's when Sakura noticed the glowing tattoo of a winged wolf by Touya's collarbone. Before she could ask him about it though he was gone.

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Sakura stood by the dance floor mulling over what Touya had told her. Working for Syaoran was not an appealing prospect. Not in the _le__ast._ He was a playboy not to mention a complete pervert. She shuddered thinking of their encounter earlier that day when he'd bit her ear. A light blush tinted her cheeks, and she instantly pushed the thought away.

'**No Sakura. You can't let Syaoran stand in the way of what you want. If all you have to do is a get a job, to get your life back, then that's an extremely small price to pay**.'

In fact Sakura was zoned out for so long that when a pair of strong arms encircled her waist swaying against her she shrieked and elbowed the person in the gut.

She turned around to find Syaoran.

Except it wasn't _SYAORAN_.

Except is _WAS_??

GOD this was confusing.

It was**_ A_** syaoran with BLOND shaggy hair and a skull earing in his left ear. In fact upon closer inspection he wore a different outfit too....all black leather. KERO'S outfit. HUH.

Sakura gawked at him.

He gawked at Sakura.

Then she noticed a yellow tail sticking out from under his jacket.

"KERO!?" she blurted

"Awww shucks didn't know it was you Sakura...sorry" he said rubbing his gut.

"WHAT are you??" she asked him finally.

There was a silent POOF as smoke billowed out around him and then he was Kero again. A 3 inch stuffed toy floating around her head. "That is a story for another day kid." he spoke condescendingly, eying a pretty blond across the dance floor as he did. "Gotta go. Hot babe at 3:00 clock" he called over his shoulder as he was enveloped in a crowd of drunk preps doing the chicken dance.

Sakura stared after him in disbelief. This just got crazier and crazier. "What next flying zombies?" she asked no one in particular. However the brunette standing a few feet away threw her a dirty look before sauntering past.

"Hey there pretty lady.." someone purred from behind her. Sakura felt hot breath on the back of her neck. Even before she'd turned around she could sense something odd about this person. Something cold yet entrancing. She had to ask didn't she? SIGH.

She turned around to find herself face to face with a guy who looked as if he'd just walked out of an ad for Abercrombie and Fitch clothes-ware. Messy blond locks hung low over his forehead, and his blue orbs stared daggers at her as if probing into her soul. "Would you like a drink?" he asked her, a barely detectable mischievous glint in his eyes, there one moment and gone the next. Gorgeous.

"Umm no thank.." Sakura began, her mind nagging at her to get away from him as fast as possible. She felt oddly naked, as if this stranger could see right through her.

"Oh but that won't do. Not at all. Come now" he said placing a hand on the small of her back, guiding her towards a secluded corner of the bar and into a booth.

Even though just moments before her mind had been screaming at her to get away from this alluring stranger she now found her self willingly following his lead.

"Stay here until I get back." he purred in her ear. Sakura gave an involuntary shiver before finding her self nodding vigorously. She watched as he swiftly moved through the crowd, towards the bar man on the other side of the bar.

It wasn't until 5 minutes had passed that the stupidity of what she was doing struck her with a vengeance. She saw the boy making his way back to her, a drink in either hand, one blood red and the other an exotic green. "CHICKENS!!" she muttered looking around wildly for a weapon of sorts. **'That salt shaker looks pretty errm weapon-y' **she reasoned.** 'Ahhh who am I kidding. He's almost here!! Run Sakura!!'**

She stood up to get away but in that one moment when she'd looked away he was there behind her. "How did you..." she trailed off when she looked into his eyes and he escorted her back to her seat, all thoughts of fear forgotten. Instead she found herself lost in the depths of his eyes. They were the most beautiful ocean blue she had ever seen.

The next thing she knew he was leaning into her a coy smile playing on his lips.

She smelled a hint of cinnamon, mint, and something wood-sy.

She HATED mint.

Now it seemed the best scent ever.

She closed her eyes, awaiting the kiss that would follow, and yet couldn't even muster up any surprise when she felt the cool edge of a glass press against her lips and warm liquid seep into her mouth.

Her eyes fluttered open to find him feeding her the green exotic cocktail.

The odd thing was the more she drank the thirstier she became. Before she knew it she had downed 3 glasses of the liquid. The first by the hands of this stranger and the other two on her own in an earnest attempt to quench her thirst.

Where had the other glasses come from? She had only seen him carrying the two.

"Finally." The boy sighed and then smirked triumphant. "You were harder to crack than the others. I was surprised when you got up to leave." he told her.

Sakura didn't know what he was going on about. What she DID know was that something was oddly wrong. She felt woozy and her head was spinning. She peered up at him through her hands and regretted it as soon as she did.

"Come over here." he ordered her his eyes raking over her hungrily.

That's when it hit her.

What was so _**DAMNED**_ odd about this boy.

He wasn't just cold in the metaphorical sense, he was a predator.

He looked at her as if she were his next meal.

Too late though. Her body wasn't responding to her will anymore.

She slid across the booth towards him, felt her head spin again, and tripped right into his lap. She lay across his chest staring up at him. This time he let his hands rake across her arms. Sakura felt goosebumps rise wherever his touch lingered. He slid her hair behind her shoulder before leaning down to kiss her neck.

At least that's what Sakura thought he would have done if he hadn't been yanked out of the booth, shaken up like a rag doll, and thrown across the room by a pissed off stalker.

**_Her_** stalker. His named slipped her mind.

Sakura sat there gawking at the blond abercrombie wannabe fly across the dance floor right into a waiter. A whole tray of food splattered all over a group of bikers near by who took one look at Blondie and jumped him.

Sakura thought she heard distant howls of pain, in the back of her head, but found herself more preoccupied with the stalker who had thrown her over his shoulder, his arms snaked around her waist to keep her from falling.

At first she just lay there admiring her stalker's broad shoulders and running her hands over his spine, laughing at how funny it felt. But then it hit her that she wasn't thirsty anymore and that her STALKER was finally KIDNAPPING her. HUH.

She also noticed that they were now outside the mansion and that the stuffed animal...what was his name again? Kiki? was arguing with said stalker.

"My fault? MY FAULT? How is this MY FAULT?" Kiki was yelling.

Sakura pulled on his tail and giggled. He scowled at her before hovering over her head.

"Keep your voice down! YOU were supposed to keep an EYE on her!! This is just like the last time!! Do you have any idea how much paperwork would have been involved if she had died again?" her stalker whispered harshly.

"So now it's MY fault some wannabe vamp took a liking to her?"

**'Vamp?'** Sakura thought confusedly. **'Vamp-ire??'**

"No. But it is your fault it went as far as it did. He fed her toxic Kreptulon for crying out loud. He would have bitten her if I hadn't gotten there in time!!"

"Oh alright your highness. You've made your point..." Kiki spoke sarcastically flying down to take a better look at Sakura.

"But she seems alright. Since she's only been dead a day. The kreptulon hasn't affected her as much. She probably just feels drunk at this point." he said grinning now.

Sakura swatted at him like he was a fly, when he flew to the left she grabbed him and spun him in circles by his tail.

"OW ow ow! Make her stop!!" Kiki hollered making Sakura giggle like crazy.

"hehehe cute kiki....nice kiki hehe.."

"My. Name. Is. Not. KIKI!!"

"Kiki mad. hehe"

"Kiki VERY mad." he bit out.

"Nice to meet you Kiki.." Mr. Stalker intoned dryly.

"Okay Kiki." Sakura let go of him waving byebye as he hastily flew out of her line of vision, rubbing his tail as he went.

"We'll need another day to deal with her. She can't possibly make a decision in this state. I'll have to postpone collecting that brat's soul tomorrow. Lucky runt will have an extra day to live. He better enjoy it while it lasts." Mr. Stalker announced.

"Put me down." Sakura said suddenly realizing she couldn't let her psycho stalker kidnap her. Even if he _WAS_ hot. "Life's never FAIR!! Gah! Why are all the hot ones crazy? WHY?" Sakura muttered aggravated, unconsciously pulling at her stalker's hair as she did.

"She's muttering to herself" Kiki pointed out.

"I'm not DEAF _KIKI_....GEEZ" Mr. Stalker grunted before letting Sakura down.

"Aww man. NOT you too!!" Kiki cried.

Sakura tittered a bit, grabbing onto Mr. Stalker's arm for balance. "Kiki UGLY..." she muttered to herself.

"Awww come on Saku-tan Kiki's okay.." Mr. Stalker reasoned steadying her before leading her down a set of stairs.

"Stop calling me KIKI!! And I am not UGLY!!" Kiki blubbered.

"Kiki crybaby.." Sakura sang. "CRY BABY!!" she hollered losing balance again.

"You guys are the WORST!!" Kiki made one last strangled cry before flying away and disappearing out over the horizon.

HUH. Something told Sakura that was not the best thing to have said. But the next moment she had tripped over a potted plant and found herself lying face first on someone's freshly watered lawn.

She looked up to find her stalker crouched down on the sidewalk, grinning at her. Behind him on a tree she could make out a sign for a missing poodle. For some reason she found this extremely hilarious. "Poodle!!" she laughed, pointing at him.

He reached out to wipe a water droplet from her lips with his thumb.

Now normally the embarrassment factor being a dead on 6/10 Sakura would have scrambled into a sitting position and tried to pass it off as if she'd MEANT to trip.

Not that it was ever very convincing.

But this wasn't a normal situation.

She was drunk for the second time in her life--the first being at Touya's funeral, frankly not a good memory--and clearly being drunk made her fuzzy along the edges, impulsive, and spunky because nothing else could explain or justify what she did next.

Absolutely NOTHING.

RIGHT.

AHem...

Sakura grinned back at Mr. Stalker before yanking him on top of her.

There was a surprised gasp on his end before he rolled off of her, an extremely amused glint in his eye.

"So you're an impulsive drunk huh?" he asked her, glancing at her sideways.

Sakura grinned again before rolling on top of him. She straddled him across the waist.

He made a move to push her off but she held his arms down.

His amusement overrode his conscious as he sat there wondering what she would do next.

Syaoran may have been a playboy but taking advantage of drunk chicks just didn't make his list of top ten things to do before he died. Oh wait he was already **_dead_**. Well technically anyways....

She leaned down then to be level with his ear before whispering "I'm not moving on..."

Syaoran shivered involuntarily. Then chuckled realizing this chick was putting the same moves on him, he'd used on her earlier that day.

Couldn't have**_ that_** now could we? Syaoran leaned up a half inch and licked the tip of her nose.

Sakura gasped taken by surprise and pushed back off of Syaoran, only to have him grab a hold of her arms and straddle **_HER_** across the waist.

"And why is that?" Syaoran asked her, grinning at her incredulous expression.

She made a move to swipe at her nose but Syaoran pushed her arm back down.

"Just Because" she pouted at him trying hard not to giggle. When that didn't work she said "Give me a job or something."

Syaoran considered that for a moment. He had no doubt that the_ all-knowing_ Touya must have put her up to this. ( Note the sarcasm )

He and Touya had hated each other the instant they set eyes on each other. They had both originally been competing for the same job position. As assistant to Princess Nakuru. It was a job of luxury and no doubt one of unimaginable benefits. Plus Princess Nakuru was hot, any guy in the after-world would give their right arm just to catch a glimpse of her.

Whatever Touya's reason for wanting Sakura to stay, Syaoran thought he might just concede it was a good idea. But only because he hadn't met or had as much fun messing around with one of his assignments in a LONG time. And Sakura was definitely entertaining.

"No" he said bluntly.

"Why not??" Sakura whined. He tried not to laugh.

"Because that's of no use to _me._" he smirked.

"I'll be your assistant then!" Sakura grinned up at Syaoran.

"I already have an assistant."

"Kiki??"

"Ugh..ya"

"The ugly, crybaby?"

Silence.

"He's not nearly as cute as you, you know." Sakura reached up to push some of his bangs back.

Silence.

"You'd have to do everything I tell you."

A slow smile crept it's way up her face.

"And you'll have to WEAR what ever I tell you too." Syaoran smirked.

Her smile faltered for second before her eyes hardened with determination.

"You're ON!!" She whispered in a husky voice

"Fine. I'll write out a contract and you can sign it as soon as we get ba...." Sakura zoned out long enough to note he was still straddling her.

"Get off." she blurted interrupting him.

Syaoran bent down to lick the tip of her nose again but she caught on and turned away just in time.

"Sucker" Sakura teased and stuck her tongue out at him.

Before she could blink he'd swooped in and licked her tongue.

"EeeeK!!" Sakura squealed pushing him off of her. "Ewwwwwwwwwwww!!"

Syaoran laughed avoiding the punches she sent his way.

"Awww you got me Saku-tan." he pretended to be hit then tried to grab her around the waist and pull her against him but she just squealed again, backing away from his grabbing hands.

The lights in the house went and on and they heard someone yell "GET OFF OUR LAWN!! STUPID TEENAGERS! GET A BLOODY ROOM!!"

" I ATE YOUR DOG MISTER!!" she yelled bursting into a new set of giggles.

"DAMN TEENAGERS! I'LL KILL YA. I'LL KILL YA ALL!!"

The next thing she knew she was being lifted up over Mr. Stalker's shoulder again.

"Let me DOWN!! Pervert!! " she pounded on his back and hollered at the top of her lungs.

"No can do Saku-tan. Gotta head home. Besides we've got a funeral to attend tomorrow."

"A funeral?" she stopped long enough to try and peer at him, not that it was possible. "Who died?"

"You did."

BOOM. THUMP.

That's when she blacked out.

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**DUN DUN DUN TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR ANOTHER EPISODE OF **

**I'M HALF DEAD AND IN LOVE WITH A PSYCHO! HA!**

**r and r guysssssssssss... I wanna know if you liked this chappie. And if you did tell me if it was entertaining and I'll write another one. It's all planned out. Should be a good fic.  
**

**BYE L.A.**


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